Stop negative self-talk. (How I do it!)
The journey of a mindset shift.
Story time!
Growing up, self-talk was a part and parcel of my life. I was my narrator for everything I used to do. Even before making myself a snack or doing my homework, I would announce everything under my breath just like the announcers at the airports. The negative self-talk started at the moment I started receiving judgment from the outside. Their commentary layered over mine, and I started adopting that part in me. For every little mistake, I would go overboard with criticizing myself. And let me tell you, our own judgments are a hundred times more bitter than those from others.
It took me a significant number of years to get over negative self-talk and build a better mindset. Shifting mindset is a hard thing to do, and it’s even harder when the person is you. Because you know why you want to change and why you can’t change.
This is where you need to reprogram your mind and know the difference between growth and a fixed mindset.
Any self-talk that’s drowning your inner self and inner peace is negative self-talk. If you’re thinking about how you can’t do a certain thing because you’re not fit for it, is a fixed mindset. And stepping outside, putting one foot in that exact direction is growth.
The key here is to flip the fixed mindset into a positive one, where every positivity becomes your fixed mindset. In the trendy way of these days, “Look at the bright side!” Now, it’s really not easy to look at the bright side all the time, but that’s what I did to shift my mindset and, of course, the negative self-talk. It gets a lot messier when you’re in the process, but what is change if there’s no mess in the process?
Here is the mess I faced:
Constant comparison. No matter how much I tried, I would end up comparing myself to everyone. Because I was looking at the bright side of what I could achieve, my mind would get in my way and tell me that if I started early, I would get the perfect place by now.
No satisfaction towards any act of accomplishment.
Always in the state of “What if.”
I can go on, but leaving some of that for the podcast on Substack!
And now, here is how to face the mess:
Cut the root immediately. The moment you notice that your thoughts are taking you to somewhere unpleasant, shift them towards something else and, most importantly, shift them towards something unserious, funny, or absolutely non-important. Think of a snack, a new gaming tool, a new food to taste, and what would happen if you used honey instead of water.
Take a crazy long breath and look at the calendar. Look at the dates that are in the future, and think that the future you is also standing in front of a calendar, wondering about traveling back on today so they can make some changes. Block their regrets and do the things that need to be done. Because we need to make ourselves think that we were gifted our time back, and this is our second chance to make things right.
The reason why the points are so long is that I need you to take your first step. Because a wise man said,
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there." — Theodore Roosevelt.
So, you’re in luck that you don’t have to move your body for the first step after all. You have to believe in the action, start mindful practices, do shadow work to achieve that mental clarity, and push through your day. Because when you truly invest in a positive mindset, there’s no going back.
Here are some shadow work prompts you can start today.
What am I afraid people would see if they truly knew me?
What belief do I carry that limits my growth, and where did I learn it?
What do I tell myself I “should” be, and why?
What part of myself do I reject or hide from others?
When do I feel like I’m not good enough, and what triggers that?
Good luck, you’re capable of achieving more than you know!
