The Crumbled Umbrella
Couple of days ago it was raining a lot and I was out tutoring a student of mine. I didn't carry an umbrella that day so I asked for one from the parent of my student. I'm pretty sure they have a lot of umbrellas which they can offer but they always offered me a crumbly umbrella. A little broken and very sad looking umbrella. It looked like it has been used a lot through lending around.
The parent told me to bring it back the next day and I should remember to bring it.
The next day when I was going to their house again with it I felt like I should fold it nicely and give it back like I used to do earlier. And that's when it kicked that nobody actually cared about how I returned the umbrella, no matter how nicely I would fold it, the next time I borrow it will always be a crumbly umbrella. There was no value of a niceness that I chose to offer.
So I stopped it. I started returning the umbrella in its normal crumbly form. And it didn't bother me anymore.
Sometimes we build a cage of expectations after offering niceness. No matter how much we tell ourselves that we are okay with it, we alway end up expecting something return even if it means just being seen. We offer our kindness unconditionally but we still want to see a slight reciprocal energy. If you put it in another way, then it will feel more clear.
The niceness or consideration you're showing might not be a noticeable thing for the person you're doing it for. They would see it just as a crumbly umbrella, what's the big deal? So take that mindset and reciprocate it yourself. It's not a big deal. You don't have to fold it nicely to give it back to them. When someone offers you a crumbly umbrella, give it back to them just the way it is.
There might be a time when you'll see someone putting efforts in the tiniest thing. And that's when you'll know that there are people like you who exist. And like the internet said, "you are yet to meet all the people who'll love you for you."
So, what's the big deal?
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