The Strongest One Controls Water

Honestly, there's no lesson in today's blog. Just an appreciation and maybe making you feel seen a little. 

Everyone knows the concept of eldest daughters. The glorious purpose holders (like Loki) and the carriers of immense rage (also a bit like Loki), almost like a fire that burns but also the water that calms. They hold a lot more than the internet portrays. They carry all the conversations like a receipt, even the conversations in their heads. Recently I met my friend, and she talked about the hurt in her heart. I notice all the time that whenever she talks about what hurt her, her voice would go higher, and at a certain moment her words wouldn't come out of her mouth at all. But her eyes would instantly fill up with tears, and they wouldn't even spill out. 

It's like a wonder to me sometimes the way she controls her tears. It's as if sewing her soul, which was torn. Just talking about it tears her apart. But she's still present at the moment. The next second we crack jokes as if a few seconds ago her soul wasn't strangling her in the throat. Life can throw more than lemons at us, but some of us sit there with the lemons and let them rot while we try to figure out how to utilize those lemons. And even the lemons rot away like our problems when we leave them out for too long. The memory falls apart. We pay the price in the name of strength and courage. My friend that day needed a good cry on the shoulder, but instead we called her strong for not letting her tears spill out. Look at me writing about it when I know what she needed, but there I am. Being the eldest daughter myself. I also control tears like I am supposed to manage the water element. I also sit by myself with all the lemons thrown at me. 

Maybe there are things we can never do. But there will always be someone to appreciate. There will be a lot of people you might meet, but only 2 or 3 people will stay through all your seasons. Maybe controlling your tears is courage and strength, but at least someone will acknowledge that it must have been hard to go through mud in order to become strong. Today that person will be me. 

To all the water fairies, you are so seen. You didn't want to be strong, and you didn't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but that's how it always has been, and that's how it will always be. But at least you know what you lived through, and you know what it takes to be on a higher level. Even if it feels lonely up there, you still did it. You're still gifted, and you're still better than everyone else. Maybe you only wanted happiness and peace, but maybe happiness and peace are found through the things you dread the most, and you have walked, you're still walking confidently with a straight strong spine. Who could ever break you? None!