Your gift from chaos.

I will start today with a life update of mine. These days, my eyelashes are always wet because I’m constantly crying at random times. Nothing significant is happening, but I have been ending up weeping anyway. That’s the moment I realized calmness is chaos too. It’s like when the electricity is gone and the additional sounds turn off, everything goes silent, and something starts ringing in your ears—the chaos of stillness.

Your calmness makes you think about chaos, just like your chaos makes you crave calmness. But just as people say that a win and a loss look the same in the mirror, chaos and calmness are exactly the same. The growth that’s not visible to you shows you how much visibility is important; then again, when you actually see your growth, you suddenly want more and worry about the underlying issues that you need to resolve to grow better. The absence is not invisible because it shows you the presence of what needs to be done. The absent is ultimately a present, and your calmness is also a chaos.

To put this whole situation into stability, you need to understand that we are designed to think both positive and negative things altogether because we are wired to make the decision for ourselves. You need to believe that confusion is necessary to gain clarity, and trying to block the confusion will always create fog in your mind. But the good thing is, there will be a clear mind after the fog if you let yourself flow.

The self-hate in yourself says about how much you love yourself when you're happy. Our whole life is a journey of finding ourselves back to unapologetically loving gummy bears again, no matter how many people tell you, “Do you even have the age for that?” We grow to know how everything works and get back to our rooms to feel what we choose to feel.

Happiness and sadness can look pretty similar. Why do you think we get tears in our eyes when we reach the peak of happiness?